Roast my LinkedIn post

📬 The post:

Aspiring Creator
Now •
3 LinkedIn Tipps, um 10x schneller zu wachsen: (ich habe damit >14k Follower aufgebaut) 90% der Leser "scannen" zuerst. → Starke Inhalte reichen nicht mehr aus. 3 Tipps, wie du richtig formatierst: 1. Kurze Sätze & Weißraum ↳ Kürze Überflüssiges ↳ Vermeide Schachtelsätze ↳ Nutze Absätze für die Lesbarkeit 2. Listen sind dein Freund ↳ Nutze die visuelle Treppe ↳ Step-by-Step-Anleitungen ↳ Achte darauf, wie dein Text fließt 3. Responsive Mode ↳ Vermeide Textumbrüche ↳ Nutze das LinkedIn-Tool Kleo ↳ Optimiere für Handy-Nutzung → BONUS Tipp für Hooks: - Streiche Füllwörter - Arbeite mit Gegensätzen - Nutze Zahlen in der Hook - “Wie ich” “Wie du” “Ich” “Du” Die Konkurrenz auf LinkedIn wächst. Mach nicht nur den besten Content. Präsentier ihn auch auf die beste Weise. PS: Ich bin ein Formatierungs-Nerd. Meine Ghostwriting Kunden wissen - da bin ich streng. 🤓 🔥 Hol dir meinen LinkedIn Reichweiten Guide. Link in den Kommentaren.
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🍖 Your roast:

Ricky Gervais
Now •
**Three Reasons Why This Post Made No Sense** **I've seen laundry lists more engaging** (and with better results!) How did one post manage to sound both promising and tedious? Forget "10x growth," how about 10x reasons to unfollow? 1. Promote "strong" content, then skip content entirely - confused messages are the new black? 2. Tips for using space, yet somehow all filled with air - wishful thinking is not a strategy, darling! 3. Last but not least - the claim to nerdiness in formatting. Oh, someone's just discovered paragraphs, bless! To sum it up: "Formatting is king," said no one ever. Don't keep these opinions to yourself, roast away below!
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🍖 Your full roast:

So you've got a post promising grand "10x growth," yet delivered a paperback novel's worth of itsy-bitsy formatting tips. Misleading much?😂
3 LinkedIn Tipps, um 10x schneller zu wachsen:

Oh, the confidence! 10x growth you say? Your blade of modesty must be blunt from polishing it so much.

→ Starke Inhalte reichen nicht mehr aus.

That's bold coming from someone who just discussed "starke Inhalte" then promptly ditched it for some clipboard formatting tips. Is that your Plan B?

1. Kurze Sätze & Weißraum ↳ Kürze Überflüssiges ↳ Vermeide Schachtelsätze ↳ Nutze Absätze für die Lesbarkeit

"Kurze Sätze" - Are you Elon Musk tweeting from a secret bunker? Who kidnapped your verbs?

2. Listen sind dein Freund ↳ Nutze die visuelle Treppe ↳ Step-by-Step-Anleitungen ↳ Achte darauf, wie dein Text fließt

Oh, the irony. "Listen sind dein Freund" and yet, this feels like a scavenger hunt for useful content!

3. Responsive Mode ↳ Vermeide Textumbrüche ↳ Nutze das LinkedIn-Tool Kleo ↳ Optimiere für Handy-Nutzung

"Responsive Mode," you say? What are we - a submarine or a LinkedIn post?

→ BONUS Tipp für Hooks:

Oh goodie, cherry on this linguistic sundae - more hooks. I was hooked at "Tipps," promise!

PS: Ich bin ein Formatierungs-Nerd. Meine Ghostwriting Kunden wissen - da bin ich streng. 🤓

Oh, a formatting nerd! Who has just warned us of the riveting power of unapologetic paragraphs. Help, someone – too much excitement, can't breathe!

🔥 Hol dir meinen LinkedIn Reichweiten Guide. Link in den Kommentaren.

Ah yes, a "Guide"! Perhaps it's hiding behind your infallible tips somewhere like lost socks. I'm still looking...

Improvements:

  1. Find Your Verbs: Try constructing complete sentences. Readers will appreciate connecting with more than just word fragments.
  2. Singular Focus: More content, less chameleon. Having ten points on formatting loses the plot fast.
  3. Drop the Formula: Originality over everything. Be it in comedy or LinkedIn posts - don't over-manufacture your content.
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