Roast my LinkedIn post

📬 The post:

Aspiring Creator
Now •
Une réflexion commune dans le but de donner du sens, qui mène aujourd’hui à cette superbe aventure.. C’est l’histoire de trois camarades, trois passionnés de restaurations, trois amis aujourd’hui engagé dans un projet commun : Mahaia, La Table Solidaire. Comme un projet ne peut se résumer qu’à une seule et unique phrase, Mahaia c’est « la volonté de créer des restaurants éphémères, solidaires et engagés, sur le jour de fermeture de nos amis restaurateurs ». Nous souhaitons briser les barrières financières qui empêchent certains individus de profiter d'un repas au restaurant, en créant des lieux conviviaux et hors du temps. ⏳ Un premier évènement est bien sur en préparation ; nous reviendrons vers vous très rapidement. Merci à tous ceux qui prendront part à cette aventure de près ou de loin, Hugo Retailleau et Charles Jobard pour ce beau projet, ainsi que Béatrice CAYOL JOCOU pour l’accompagnement et les conseils !😊
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🍖 Your roast:

ContentIn
Now •
How I Turned Passion into Purpose: 3 Key Steps (Here’s how my journey began) In this post, you'll discover how we transformed an idea into a unique venture. 1. **Teamwork Makes Dreams Work**: I partnered with fellow food enthusiasts, united by our love for transformation. 2. **Purpose-Driven Vision**: We aimed to break financial barriers, making quality dining accessible to everyone. 3. **A Journey of Inclusivity**: Mahaia, our brainchild, is a platform for creating ephemeral, inclusive dining experiences. We believe shared meals can bridge divides. How can you engage in this new wave of inclusive dining? Share your thoughts below!
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🍖 Your full roast:

A strong emotional narrative but lacks a clear hook and structure. Needs a compelling call to action for better engagement.

Overall Score: 4/10

Positive Points:

  • The post conveys strong emotion. 🌟
  • The length is more than 100 words, ensuring it gets detailed.
  • The post includes strong wording in terms of emphasis on its mission.

Negative Points:

  • The hook is not particularly engaging.
  • The hook and the rehook are not clearly separated, impacting readability.
  • There is no evident list; the format could be more structured.
  • Lacks a clear call to action; it doesn't encourage reader engagement.
  • The post is primarily written in paragraphs, making it feel dense and harder to digest rapidly.
  • Overuse of names without focus on a singular, powerful story; too unfocused.

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Make the Hook Engaging:
    Start with something bold that piques curiosity or feels urgent.
  2. Introduce Structure & Space:
    Use lists or bullet points to break down your main points. Space out sentences for clarity.
  3. Incorporate Clear CTA:
    End the post with a question or direct call to action asking for thoughts or engagement.

👉 By enhancing these aspects, the post could significantly increase traction and reader involvement.

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