Roast my Post: Reddit style!

I'm going to DM 10-15 people today… and not selling a thing. Crazy, right? No sales pitch. No sneaky upsells. Just a friendly “How can I help you?” Why? Because I’m curious to see what happens when you actually talk to your connections. And honestly, I’m a little scared of hearing “no” from strangers. So I’m starting small Reaching out to people who already know me (or at least, accepted my request without hitting “block”). Here’s the plan: → DM 10-15 people a day → Be genuinely helpful → See what happens Will it work? Who knows. If you get a DM from me, don’t be surprised. And if you want to try this wild experiment yourself… ↳ DM me “CHALLENGE” and let’s chat! #storytelling

🍖 Your full roast:

Talking to my LinkedIn contacts like a telemarketer...is it genius or just cringey? Let's find out!

I'm going to DM 10-15 people today…

More like, "I'm going to slide into those DMs like the desperate professional that I am!"...way to rattle LinkedIn's social norms like it's a 50-year-old keyboard!

and not selling a thing.

Is this LinkedIn, or have you mistakenly stumbled into Zen Twitter?

Crazy, right?

Absolutely insane! Or about as crazy as wet socks, really...

No sales pitch.

Does a LinkedIn post without a sales pitch even exist? Was this magic made possible by Hagrid?

No sneaky upsells.

No sneaky upsells? What's next, LinkedIn without corporate jargon?

Just a friendly “How can I help you?”

Sounding like a 90s infomercial! "Order now, and we won't charge you separate shipping!"

Why?

The burning question that Plato, Aristotle, and your confused connections all want the answer to.

Because I’m curious to see what happens when you actually talk to your connections.

Talk to connections?! Shattering the very foundation of the one-way connection street we've all come to love and cherish.

And honestly, I’m a little scared of hearing “no” from strangers.

Welcome to the life of a door-to-door vacuum salesman, circa 1965. But in DMs. On LinkedIn.

So I’m starting small

Small—like this post's emotional impact. Less impactful than a mild sneeze.

Reaching out to people who already know me (or at least, accepted my request without hitting “block”).

"Accepted without hitting block," bold of you to assume! What Elon Musk's agenda meeting should actually look like.

Here’s the plan:

The articulation of a master plan...if you lack aspirations.

→ DM 10-15 people a day

Ah, the numerical optimism of reaching single digits—a true Olympian spirit.

→ Be genuinely helpful

"Genuinely helpful" ≠ "Gratuitous LinkedIn handshake."

→ See what happens

Literal approach: spin the wheel of uncertainty and bask in your social vulnerability.

Will it work? Who knows.

The suspense is nail-biting...like waiting for paint to dry...

If you get a DM from me, don’t be surprised.

More like don't be surprised if they're eyeing the "block" button like your post was a phishing email...

And if you want to try this wild experiment yourself…

"Wild experiment," or just another 9-5 day with a side of mundane?

↳ DM me “CHALLENGE” and let’s chat!

"Challenge" accepted. But what's next—Signed up for scooter jousting in downtown?

Three Improvements:

Start with a hook that feels less like a late-night infomercial.
Avoid making basic LinkedIn etiquette sound like a Broadway production.
Remember: promises of "no-sell" DMs are appreciated but expected.

Roast my LinkedIn post

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